Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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