Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
