I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i think i just lost a toe
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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