you told grandpa to call you daddy
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
