I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
