What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
