I just saw a hot homeless man
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize