woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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