Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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