we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
