4 words: hood of his car
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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