just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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