Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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