I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
