it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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