This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
wow bdsm is so cute
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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