Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
