My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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