ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
