I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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