Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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