I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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