The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
