i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
