I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
