she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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