just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize