Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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