at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
