I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
