It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
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