I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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