Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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