I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
