chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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