I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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