i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
