Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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