video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
