so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
