she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just want to make out with him forever
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
