Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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