i think i have herpe
just one?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
