Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I checked into jail on foursquare
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
