Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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