Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
