dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
you made out with another girl for some wings
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
