it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
