OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
