As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
