textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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