I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
