I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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