But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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