If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
