in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
