party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
