i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
