I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
