my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
