but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize