Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Couch. On fire.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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