You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
